This may come as a huge surprise to many people but I’ve become a Shule Shoosher.

As a young child I was never in shule (synagogue) long enough to be shooshed because, after doing the rounds from the lolly and pretzel men, followed by the obligatory ‘good-shabbos’ to the rabbi and senior family members, there were too many adventures waiting for us in the backyard, empty classrooms and the old bomb shelter.

As I grew older and stayed in shule longer I was often singled out by the then-shoosher which caused much embarrassment to my good friend since it was her grandmother and she knew that there was more rebuke coming for her later.

But I couldn’t help myself. All my teachers can attest. “Esther is easily distracted and fidgets”, “Esther is very sociable”, “If only Esther would focus”.

It never occurred to me that my interrupting the people around me was denying and depriving them their need to use tefillah (prayer) as a means to address important needs in their lives.

As an adult who is still easily distracted and very sociable, I have learnt to appreciate a number of things about my attendance at shule but specifically, the quiet time that shule affords me.

Attending shule resembles many things for me. I believe that all Jewish people should feel connected to a shule – a spiritual home away from home. I love that I can walk into shule and am immediately comforted by the familiarity of the service. Some people find this boring. Same songs, same words week in and week out (daily for many people), but, for a long time, I have looked forward to going to a place where I know exactly what’s going to be said and sung and when. There’s something secure and safe about an unchanging routine. I should probably now admit that I am a regular at a few shules which does introduce some additional variety into the routine but also helps me deal with something my teachers didn’t know; I have commitment issues.

I find shule somewhat meditative. We all know the therapeutic effects of meditation but I struggle with putting time aside early each day to sit still and actually meditate. Shule is the perfect meditation solution for someone like me. It provides me with a place to think and reflect without the usual distractions of my day and week. I can lose myself deep in thought whilst contemplating my feelings which I didn’t have time to do while I was busy at work or attending to other commitments during the week. The variety of standing and sitting, singing aloud and praying quietly, listening to the sermon and the chazzan (cantor) allows a fidgeter like me to fully immerse myself without feeling restless or bored.

After the service, the Kiddush (hard to translate – a kind of get together after services with a pre-meal snack which must involve herring) and hanging around gives me a release to connect with people, talk, catch up and laugh before we all disperse to our respective meals. It’s great balance of quiet time and social time.

It’s not uncommon when people are experiencing difficulties in their lives that they reconnect with shule. Whether it’s an illness in the family, a personal matter or other challenge, people will make their way back to shule to seek solace, make requests or express thanks. There are the people who attend shule to recite the Kaddish (prayer for the deceased) over the loss of a loved one and other people rely on shule for their only interaction with other people. Sad but true. Not everyone has a family or one that lives near them.

With peoples’ reason for going to shule being so personal and not necessarily obvious, we need to be much more respectful to other shule-goers and make an effort to keep quiet and not intrude on their experience; for some a life-line.

We all know that most shules struggle with talking. Whether it’s the regular attendees or the 3 times a year shule-goer, the talking can be heard so loudly across the shule that the chazzan (person leading the services) needs to stop the service until order and silence is established. It’s certainly not showing any respect for someone who trains for hours and undertakes an enormous commitment to provide you with a meaningful and enjoyable service.

So I had a couple of ideas to help keep the talking down and would love to hear what you think.

1. Print cards with tactful messages on them that can discreetly be given to offenders letting them know that their talking is probably a little louder than they realise. (Perhaps in yellow and red)
2. Appoint a few strategically placed noise monitors who, when they identify repeat offenders, put on a giant foam hand with the index finger pointed, with the message ‘SHUT THE ‘F’ UP’ on it and point it across the shule at the individual(s).

I did mention both these ideas to a few rabbis and, though they thought it had some merit, rejected them.

Anyway, you get the message. Please be mindful and respect what shule resembles to others and, if you must talk, a whisper is greatly appreciated over your out-door voice.

As we approach the chaggim, everyone’s prayers should be heard and answered and the year ahead filled with happiness and blessings.